1. We have a plan for earth.
2. It is a good plan.
3. We promise
4. Here’s a picture of us with a majestic bird.
5. Ignore the picture where the majestic bird attacked us and we got scared.
6. We were not almost eaten by the majestic bird. That is a dirty media fabrication.
The bird was scared of us, we promise you.
7. We don’t have birth certificates because Tucson burned down in a fire.
Never always forget.
8. Also we weren’t born. We were extruded through primordial quantum goo, spun in a centrifuge, planted in a terra cotta pot and put into orbit around a day care dwarf star, then uprooted and sprayed with orange dust and shellac.
They give out completion certificates for that. It’s a pass/fail course.
9. Because we are semi-floral, sentient extraterrestrial snack foods, we do not have gender.
10. Also the writer has no idea how to draw boobs and that is why all characters are drawn from the shoulders up.
P.S. Zop and Zep are not in a relationship with each other (ew gross, but if we weren’t related maybe we would be dating each other) and would like all eligible persons to know that we are both single.
P.P.S. Even though you can’t see our hands, we assure you they are very large and that other parts of our bodies are also very large. But you can’t know which ones because we are aliens and who knows whether we have the same body parts humans do.
P.P.P.S. Zop and Zep completely deny the idea that their writer is involved in business deals with Russia. The writer gets paid nothing for their work they do because no one values artists anymore.